I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half yesterday and it was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do. Have you ever had to leave someone who you still loved in a way because you knew that the relationship wasn’t good for either of you?
I’ve been thinking about my future a lot as of late and as much as I care about him I know (and have known for quite a while) that I was most likely not going to get where I want to be in life if I stayed with him. I can’t exactly explain why either. He just sort of… seemed to be holding me back. It hurts me writing that out actually, but anyway.
I just know that right now I need to focus on myself and having fun while I’m still young, as well as getting some serious things done and working harder than I’ve ever worked before to attain what I want in life. I think being single right now is the best choice for me.
Like I said though, there has been sadness, trust me. I mean, as kind as I was about it, me leaving still broke his heart. And there are things about him that I miss.
On the other hand I feel empowered in a way. Like I’m the only one in control of my life right now. It’s also been a problem in the past…. It’s always been extremely difficult for me to end a relationship myself, even at times when I KNOW I should have. I did it this time though, and I’m going to get myself back and that’s exciting to me!
I’m also looking foreword to what is going to happen next. Once I move to Vegas (a couple more months!) I’ll have so much more opportunity to pursue the dreams I’ve had for as long as I can remember.
It’s bittersweet, definitely. Right now I’m feeling slightly depressed but I’m staying strong and I’m proud of myself for doing something I never thought I would be able to do, and what I know is best in the long run.